The Road Home

I sit at the gate in JFK, waiting to board the flight, grateful that I will be seeing my family soon.

Grateful for so much.

Grateful to have a family whom I love with all my heart.

Grateful to have experienced this week of learning and connecting with others.

Grateful for inspiration and the gift of being inquisitive and open to new ideas.

Grateful to be on my way to a weekend filled with giggles, soft brown curls, hugs, and yes, even diapers

Away for a few days and Blast from the Past

For the next five days, I will be caught in a whirlwind of training sessions, meetings, ferry rides between New York and New Jersey, and hopefully some good food in the middle of it all somewhere.

I’ve been toying with the idea of guest bloggers on my site while I’m away, and decided Yes! This is a grand idea! Let’s do it!

Then, the genius idea developed even more as I thought to myself, Wait, I can be my own guest blogger!

Ta-daaaa!

Huh, you say?

This week, you will have the immense pleasure and privilege (ahem) to RE-READ posts I wrote long, long ago, and in return I promise promise promise to take a few pictures and show them to you once I’m back home.

Deal?
Deal.

Please take care of yourselves, love each other, and join me as I ask the universe to be gentle to my boys and their dad while I am away from them and unable to kiss them good night.

Here is a post from almost 2 years ago – hard to believe my boy has grown so much since then!

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Preschooler Car Talk II

“Mama! Today we learn about crops.”

Looking in rearview mirror, brow furrowed, POSITIVE that I had heard him wrong, “Huh? Crocs?!?!”

“NO! Croooooops!”
“Oh! Crops!” Eyebrows raised, thinking he must’ve heard the word and have NO idea what it means.

“Well, then, who picks the crops from the field?” (Hah! Take that, Mr. Think-You’re-So-Smart! I threw in an extra word, too!)

“Pffffffffft.” Impatiently, and MUCH too prematurely for his age, blowing air out of his mouth and rolling his eyes.

“Mama! Crops, FARMER! You know???”

“Um. Ooookaaay.”

Silence.

“Mama?” Calmer now, after having contemplated the reasons for his mama’s sorry state of ignorance.

“Yes?”

“You go’ed to school today?”

*sigh* He’s already worried about what to fill in for ‘Mother’s Highest Level of Education’

Snot and Smiles

Still a little fussy, still a little snotty, but definitely the winner in the battle against the RSV + double-ear infection bug.

That’s ma boy.

Big Brother

You know the role of big brother has totally kicked in when you catch something like this – totally spontaneous and unplanned (I did my best to be sneaky, but you can see at the very end where N realizes I’m there and asks “What are you doing mama?!?!?”)
(Volume on the video is really low so turn it up if you want to hear)

 

Since the sound quality’s not so great, let me give you the rundown:

My guess is that N was going to get a toy from his room, and knowing that I had been trying (unsuccessfully) to get Baby Z down for a nap, decides to help.

He starts singing Rock a Bye Baby, then realizes a few seconds in that he doesn’t really know the words, at which point there is some huffing and puffing/sighing action.

Giving up on the lullabye, he says “Here, Baby Z, you want me to come in … with you?” and he climbs right into the crib!
I had to stop myself from laughing out loud so the boys wouldn’t see me trying to hide and record them at the same time. So fun.

Note to self: Pay more attention to moments like these, and work harder on capturing them.
Before you know it, this will be replaced by the two of them duking it out over which one of them gets the last slice of pizza, or who gets to take the car, or *shudder* who saw that cheerleader first.

Weekend Miscellany

A list of random odds and ends from this weekend:
1- As you start out this week, you may find yourself afraid of the effect that one lost hour of sleep is going to have on you – you know, that hour that was just stolen away as a result of this weekend’s time change? Well, I’ve got a solution to help you with that fear..

HAVE SOME KIDS!
They have NO CLUE what the time change means, and will still wake you up on 6:30 a.m on Sunday. At least mine will.

The other unintended result of having kids is that it is guaranteed to reduce all your fears to one that parents have shared for generations:
That some dumbo, oblivious to your predicament, will come by and cheerily ring your doorbell, after you FINALLY got the baby to go down for that much-resisted, yet much-needed nap.

Obviously, much-needed by YOU, not the baby.

As one wise woman said many many times over the last 5 years (ahem), “Naps were created for parents, not for children.”

2- Avocados from Costco are our newest obsession. Oh avocado, why do you tempt us so with your delectable flesh? +5 pounds for everyone in this household as we explore guacamole recipes mmmmmm.

3- Turtle: The Incredible Journey. We watched this movie over the weekend with N, and it was such a great, unexpected delight. Highly recommended.

Turtle: The Incredible Journey – Trailer from Save Our Seas Foundation on Vimeo.

3- Lazy Sundays ARE all they’re made out to be.

Usually, if I don’t get in a run on the weekend I end up mad at myself and in a generally cranky mood. (Just being honest, here, peeps.)

Today, however, I spent the morning with the kids, then when Baby Z went down for his late morning nap, I got my running gear on, headed out the door, ran aaaaall the way to the end of our road, got whipped around by some wind, decided it wasn’t worth running in windy weather, then ran aaalll the way back home.

Spent my running time taking the longest shower ever and gittin’ my hair did instead, and man did it feel good.

4- I am formally a hazard to myself in the kitchen when there are freshly sharpened knives involved. My hands will not be manicurable for the next 2 months or so.
I am so going to make band-aids the new accessory.

5- You know those people who are like the calm in the middle of the storm? The ones who are never fazed by anything, the ones who always have that serene smile on their face and walk like the world is waiting for them to arrive?

Yeah, I’m not one of those people.

Those people make me feel like I’m the tornado messing up everything in my path, running to catch up with my life before it slips through my fingers.

Those people make me remember why I need yoga.

6- Happiness is being the mother of these two boys

Star Wars Physics

Teaching N about St. Patrick’s Day..
“Mama, what holiday do we have in March?”
“Um, I don’t think there are.. oh, wait, there’s St. Patrick’s Day.”
I go on to attempt explaining the celebration of all things green and Irish to the never-ending stream of Why Why Why, and then suddenly he goes quiet.

“Mama?”
“Yes?”
“Master Yoda is Irish, because he’s green.”

Oh, boy.

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Driving through the kitchen on one of his old toddler train toys that he’s rediscovering now as we dust them off and introduce them to his younger brother
“Weeeeeeeeeeeeee Mama I’m moving because of Physics.”
“WHAT.”
“Physics, mama. You know what FORCE is? Force, mama.”
“Yes, I know what force is, of course I know what force is, it’s what helps you move forward when you’re…”
“NO Mama. The REAL force is with Darth Vader and Master Yoda.”

“What are you even talking about, child?”

“WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

*sigh*

Math

Husband: “Hey N, show your mama what we learned today.”
N barely looks up from under all that hair on his head, which loves to cascade onto his forehead and just sit there. I work hard to resist the urge to scoop him up in my arms and bear hug his little body.
Husband: “What’s 2 minus 6?”
N turns his face away, feverishly sticking different [adorable little] fingers up and down, up and down, then suddenly looks me squarely in the face and declares: “MINUS FOUR, MAMA! IT’S MINUS FOUR!”

Jaw and utensils drop, eyebrows disappear into the sky.

He’s 5. (FIVE)
I’m amazed.
His dad is amazing.

Long Weekends, Small Victories, and Lessons Learned

Long weekends are a time for reconnecting – with family, friends, the kitchen, and To-Do lists.
In addition to all of the above, this past long weekend ended up  being a test of patience for me personally, and from it came an unplanned and unexpected opportunity to learn a little bit more about my limits.
As in, how far you can push me before I start to break down. 

Seeing this weekend’s version of myself was…educational, and I am determined to use it as an opportunity to improve. I am not proud of my inability to deal with clutter – physical “stuff”-type clutter, idea clutter, speech clutter, emotional clutter.  I also know, especially now that I have two children, a 50-hour plus workweek, and this annoying need to sleep more than 4 hours a night, that I need to let go of my tendency to want to control every.little.thing.

Dishes can’t always be 100% clean and out of the way, floors and countertops and in between cabinets and appliances and corners can’t always be scrubbed and shiny, clothes can’t always be laundered and beautifully pressed as soon as they hit the hamper, spills can’t always be prevented, and children can’t always be 100% squeaky-clean. 
(Even as I’m typing these words my brain is going “WHAT?!! THEY CAN’T?!?! AND WHY NOT, HUH HUH HUH?!?!? You’re just not trying hard enough. Hey, change is a process, and I’m working on it!)

Sometimes life throws a wrench in your plans and messes with your head to teach you a lesson, and show you that you’re not really boss. Thanks, life.

Even with all the chaos, I did have a few small victories this weekend.
I was able to get in a run on Saturday, and it was one of those runs that just feels RIGHT. I then hauled the two little ones to a kiddie birthday party, which is parental torture at its best, and came home to a SPOTLESS home, courtesy of my amazing sister.
Sunday I successfully pulled off a breakfast of homemade manaeesh (za’tar flatbread, which I’ll post pics of later), and a dinner of roasted leg of lamb. I wasn’t able to spend as much time with my brother (who visited for about 32 hours) as I wanted, but at least I fed him! 

Here are some pictures I took this weekend of the two most important reasons why I get up in the morning (and barely sleep at night ;) I really need to get myself a real, GROWN-UP camera, but until then, bear with me!)

Four.

You are four today, and I am celebrating with memories. Lately, I’ve been swimming in a sea of them, remembering the last few days before you were born, and many of the days that came after. The simple truth remains the same: I am more in love with you today than I ever thought I could or would be.

Memories of our special rituals – like Friday morning bagels before preschool/work, Saturday walks to the ice cream store near our house, after-work trips to the park where all the dogs used to come to play and knock you down, giggling so hard your curls looked as if they were going to fall off your head, dropping in on the hardware store after a trip to the supermarket so we can see the Choo-Choo that runs overhead, trips to the beach where all you really wanted to do was wait for the train to pass by, your suggestions to go to ”da coffee place” on our way to school so I can get coffee and you can get a muffin,  weekend lunches at Jimbo’s, after-school/work visits to the water fountain where you would get hit by the squirters and laugh as I watched your bottom get soaked with water, and so many more will forever be mine and mine only. I carry them with me in a  place in my heart that is emblazoned with your name on it, a place that grows larger every day, with every smile, and every hug.

You are growing fast, and becoming your own person. You’ve always had a fiercely independent mind, never easily influenced, never easily manipulated. Even as a baby you would look up at my goo-goo ga-ga silliness as I tried to make you laugh, with a wiser-than-your-years look in your eyes that spoke the words your mouth couldn’t:
“Woman, stop acting like a fool. That is NOT funny and we both know it. Let’s talk politics – do I REALLY need to wait 2 more hours to get some more of that milk-lovin’?”

You amaze me every day now with your growing vocabulary, your ability to reason and argue with us, sometimes backing us into a logical corner. When you do that, I usually allow you to get your way, since really, who am I to refuse you the victory of a won argument?
Talking to you is more fun than anything else these days, since I get a glimpse of the person you are going to become, and that person is already pretty cool.

My darling baby, my “batteekha”, my silly willy, my sweetheart, my Noah. Mama loves you more than you will ever know, and I can only hope you can feel it.

Perfect timing. You just woke up and ran into my arms for your birthday morning hug, claiming “I’m FOUR NOW MAMA!!!”

Today is going to be fun, I can feel it. :)

Happy birthday, my love.