Sleep Rehab

Recently, I sat by and watched the state of my under-eye area deteriorate from one day to the next as I attempted to acclimate to less than 5 hours of sleep a night. I was both deaf and dumb to my body’s violent rejection of my decision and attempts to train myself not to need sleep. With an increasingly mindless obstinacy, I insisted on completely and fully ignoring all the signs that I was losing the battle.

Nodding off while my fingers were still typing, headaches, dark under-eye circles that looked painted onto my face, constant dryness and itchiness in my eyes, brain fog, and an altered sense of depth and perspective (read: increased risk of accidents) became my daily constants.
Also. The yawning. The yawning was simply ridiculous, especially with the way I was busting out the variety of yawn where you could see where my esophagus connects to my stomach.

A couple of weeks ago, my body made the decision to fight back with everything it’s got, and if my body could talk, it would tell you that it’s totally kicking my ass.
These days, it seems 9:30 pm has become the hour at which my body completely shuts off. There seems to be nothing and no one that can prevent me from falling into a deep sleep coma at the moment my body decides it’s had enough.
Whether I’m sitting on the couch, with a loud action sequence and screaming sirens on the TV, sitting with my family in the living room, telling my son a bedtime story, or standing at the kitchen sink doing dishes, once that clock hits 9:30 my body decides to stop whatever it was I was doing and force me into a deep sleep. The kind of sleep where you wake up feeling kind of disoriented; unsure of where you are or how you got there.

Yes, I am losing the sleep battle, and friends, it is GLORIOUS. I can’t remember the last time I actually got 8 or 9 hours of continuous sleep for more than 2 nights in a row (or the last time I enjoyed LOSING this much), and… It is GLORIOUS. I have managed to stay up until about 10 or 10:30 a few times this past week, but not without MUCH effort. I vaguely remember having a conversation with my family while sitting in the living room and literally falling asleep mid-sentence, waking up to finish the sentence a minute or so later, then falling asleep mid-sentence again about 5 times in a row.

4:30 am is still a disgustingly early hour to be awake at, but going to bed no later than 10 or 10:30 makes it tolerable, OK even.

Welcome back to my life, sleep. You are almost as delicious as carrot cake .

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One Response to Sleep Rehab

  1. Pingback: Project! (Part II) – The Announcement « halistic

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